Lately, my body has been feeling heavy. 

I wake up feeling the weight of my responsibilities pulling me down like a boulder sinking in the sea. Life caves in on me, leaving me confused with voices running through my head, speaking chaos out of sync, draining out the Voice that was once leading me. 

I find myself lost in a vortex of fear and uncertainty. The unknown path seems endless…suffocating…overwhelming. I wish to speak, but when I do, things from the deep emerge, enveloping the room. 

I feel vulnerable as my words imprint everything surrounding me.  But I don’t know any other way to let the layers of me be seen. 

“You don’t have to stand in agreement, Danielle.”

God’s voice cut through the noise.

Friend,

“You don’t have to stand in agreement with what people say about you or what you say about yourself. You don’t have to stand in agreement with the lies the enemy is speaking or the false things being said about My character.

Danielle, you can fall out of agreement. It’s your choice. But if you continue to cultivate these thoughts, they will lead you to a dangerous place.”

Friend, 

Last Fall, the church my husband and I planted moved to two services. This shift prompted structural changes within our staff, resulting in new or refined roles. I was content in my position as the Women’s Ministry Director. After a few years, I felt like I finally had a grasp on what to do. I felt secure in my responsibilities and in how to prepare for the coming year.

But I was suddenly thrown a curveball.

A few years ago, I chaperoned my youngest child on a field trip to the Aquarium. Before we left for our adventure, his teacher gathered the class on a rug at the front of the classroom. She proceeded to instruct the class on essential details for the day. One particular detail about lunch left me pondering.

We are midway through the final week of the year — that strange stretch where time feels suspended, neither fully behind us nor fully ahead.